I consider myself the worst of sinners. It is not that I have ever done anything terribly bad. But I believe that the kind of heart and mind that I have is specially created for doing good. With that kind of heart and mind, I really have no reason whatsoever to do even the littlest bad thing.
The other day I parked my car at Barclays Plaza and told the guards that I was going to a shop located in the building and that was not entirely true. My intention was to go elsewhere, which I did while passing by that shop.
Another day, I parked at a pizza inn where the parking is free for customers and then walked across to a mall where the parking is charged for, for a meeting I was to have. This was not intentional as we had agreed to meet at the pizza inn, but then decided to move to the mall and it was easier to just walk there instead of driving. Until today, those actions disturb my peace.
I feel that I did wrong. Those are not actions that many people would even think about. I have a friend who tells me that we need to think smart in order to survive in this world. Whereas I agree that that is the way of this world, I do not want to conform to it.
I want to do things that give me happiness inside me all the time. I know that taking advantage of the security deficiency of those whose parking areas I misused is wrong.
Making excuses by saying that if God did not want me to do wrong he should have ensured that there were no parking spaces available or claiming that the opportunity to take advantage of others is a blessing does not take away the feeling of disappointment that I have in myself.
To ensure that I do not do it again, I need to pray because it is difficult for my human mind to understand why I have to be so good. My life these days is all about figuring out how to do the right thing without looking like an idiot.
The other day I needed a document from a certain government office and the person I was getting it for asked me whether I can use influence to get it. I told her it wouldn’t help, but what I really meant to say is that I don’t do such things any more. There was a time I believed in using money and/or influence to get things done for me quickly.
These days however, I no longer transact with influence or money, which I learned could only get me worldly results. I use patience instead and I have found that patience pays because its results are always exceedingly abundantly more than I could think or ask. Working with God’s timing is truly the best way to do business in this world. The writer is a lawyer and a blogger www.njerimucheru.com
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